Hope you are resting a little & having some me time. :o)

Missy, How was your day??? Thank you for your kind words...Your right, I have to stop thinking about my troubles, cuz it was making me sick to my stomach...I followed your suggestions...I have surrounded myself with the things that comfort me... It helped, thank you... You're only sixteen years old and you already have so much wisdom in you...
I read the words to the song "Welcome to where you are," Bon Jovi...The words are very moving....Thank you once again your friend BlueDust

Sorry, missy I had a "brain fart" at the end of my comment I meant to say thank you for your friendship...Hugs BlueDust

wsunicole06 You are right, god is standing by us no matter what is going on in our lives...Thank you for reminding me of psalm 31:24...It's a beautiful saying...Your friend BlueDust

2394 Hey girl how's it going?
I'm sorry you lost your mother...Know that if you ever need to banter I am there for you...I know what it's like to lose a loved one too...I lost a close friend of mine two years ago... He use to call me taco head, but when he was serious he would call me by my name.....I miss him very much...I believe all of our loved ones are looking out for us... Stay strong...Know all of us girls are there for you...Lots of love...BlueDust

Hey goosngela,How's it going in Utah? I'm feeling a little better now...Thank you for your kind words...You also have a lot of wisdom for a girl of sixteen...I love that!!!!I was really bad today I had not just two scoops of ice-cream but three...Can't do that every day or I'll balloon out...HAha!!! Have a restful night...BlueDust

BlueDust I am very concerned about you. The other night I got into such a horrible fight with my mom and I was pissed as hell at EVERYTHING it seemed like and I just wanted to die. I mean I'm sure I sound really stupid.... a girl who has it pretty good, but once things get a little bad she wants out? What the hell is wrong with her? Well I did want out, but thankfully I was smart enough to talk myself out of it. I sat myself down, cried A TON, listened to the GGD, and wrote an email to a friend. Now I don't know exactly what is going on in your life right now that is making you upset, but I felt like sharing that story with you (although I summed up the story VERY quickly) because it may have some relevance as to what you're going through. It is very important to surround yourself with the things that make you most happy when you are going through a trying time. Just remember that whatever you are going through is probably just one of God's many tests and you will come through it. Ok now that I've made a fool of myself..... things are pretty good here in Utah. It's been storming a lot, but other than that it's not too bad. I should probably head off to bed now. Take care BlueDust and feel free to vent to us ladies WHENEVER you want, we're always here. Love you.

What the hell am I talking about? I didn't make a fool of myself. For cryin' out loud! I was just helpin' a friend! Sorry, just a little reassurance for myself....

Gooangela...Hi....I've never addressed anyone in particular here but your last post bothered me....Were you talking about dying literally. If you are thinking literally even tho you talked yourself out of it please seek help....please or you can contact me directly by private message on the board. Even THINKING that way can be a warning sign. You seem like a sweet caring person...hang in there.

Hope everyone feels better...hugs to all.

Great shot!!

gooangela, I am worried about you. I think you should talk to your doctor about how you are feeling even though you talked yourself out of it this time, you may not be able to another time. Please Please talk to someone because this sounds serious. You are only a young girl and you have your whole life in front of you. Please take care of yourself!! xo

You guys, enjoy your down time, you deserve it! This goes out to your road crew, security Mike and everyone. Your Jones Beach and PNC shows were phenomenal. You were definitely ON FIRE! Lionel trains bring back fond childhood memories. We put ours up under the Christmas tree every year. We've got the original black (circa 1951 I think) locomotives that smoke. Love my trains! But not more than I love you!

Would Bluedust, 2934 and Gooangela please visit www.musicishealing.org. You WILL find comfort there, I promise you! And folks with similar experiences to share. It is my calling to help young people with their issues who are also GOO lovers. You will be welcomed there with open arms!~

gooangela I'm sorry you got into a fight with your mom...I had thoughs feeling when I was your age, I made it through thoughs trying times, and you can too...Hang in there soon you will be off to college and on your own...Remember your edication is very important it's the only ticket to true freedom...Try to be patient with your mom...Know she loves you very much...She wants the best for you...Don't ever feel foolish, we all have to vent...The reason why I have been a wreak, is a certain position at work was going to be offered to me and I found out that it was going to be offered to someone else...A person I feel does not deserve to have the position...Oh, god look at the time ...I hate to cut it short, but I have to go to work now...Hang in there love and everything will just fine ...I will blog you when I get home...Tons of hugs BlueDust

gooangela, I know exactly what you're going through. I went through the same thing a few years back, I have a good life, we're not poor, but I just wasn't happy. I never tried anything but always thought about it, but then I realized that it would be the cowards way out and luckily Ive got that Spaniard pride and decided that I was not going to let life beat me so early on. I became determined to live and make my life better. I told myself that I was going to get through school and amount to more than a dreamless Postal employee stuck in an unromantic marriage with 3 kids. I'm getting out of this town to live MY life and MY dreams, that and I listened to a lot of music. Then I thought about it and told myself that God gave me this life and if I were meant to die then it would happen but by His hand, but if not I have no right to take it myself. It took a while to get rid of the thoughts completely but after that I haven't thought about it since. There is a lot to live for, and at least you talked about it, I was alone in my battle which made it much harder, but it's over and I'm much stronger and wiser for it. There is good in everything and it may be hard to see it but it's well worth the work. Please just remember to "Let Love In". I will talk to you later.
Love,
Missy

THERE IS ONE PERSON MISSING :(
ME OF COURSE

Oh BlueDust I'm sorry about your job, life is cruel sometimes, but you just have to continue on and do the best you can. Hopefully the person that takes the job will be able to do their job correctly enough to where the kids will not be affected, that is the main thing. But BlueDust just continue to work hard and it will all pay off in the end. :) Hope you have a good day, and honey, 3 scoops of ice cream is nothin'. :)

BlueDust I'm sorry to hear about your job. I know how that is. You want to do something so much, but then somebody who is not adequate takes over what you want. I've been there and done that. Things will get better and if you stay strong and true to yourself, everything will come together and pay off in the end.

Ladies I would like to say something to you ALL. I very much appreciate your concern for me, really I do. I, on the other hand however, do not think that my problem is serious enough to seek professional help. As a teenager, a thought like that is pretty normal and most of the time is taken lightly. It's only when the thoughts happen constantly that one should be worried. Now ladies I don't think about it constantly, just a couple of times and that's normal for a teenager. Look at Missy, she could relate very easily to me and we're the same age. Point is ladies, rest assured that I'm not going to do anything stupid. I know that I have too much to live for and that my life is just beginning. Thanks again though for the support. I really do appreciate it. Love ya ladies.

It's really a relief to hear that gooangela. Anyways I'm glad that we're all here for each other. So how's everybody's day been? Mine's good I got my class shedule and ALL my friends got the same lunch! Sorry I'm just so excited about it, we're all insane so there's never a dull moment, and quite a few blonde ones. :) Hope the day's been good! Mucho amor chicas!

sweet!!

I wonder if John is downloading songs from iTunes?

BlueDust, thanks for the kind words about my mom. gooangela I was so happy to read your blog, I feel much better. Stay strong girl! Missy I'll just say good for you for pulling yourself away from those thoughts! I remember how exciting it is when you have lunch break with all your friends and I've been out of highschool for almost 20 years! My day has been good. I made homemade lemon squares and had dinner with a friend and then watched Rockstar Supernova and Miami Ink. Yes I am a television junkie. Here is a quote from a guy we all LOVE, "I wish everyone was loved tonight". Take care ladies and we will blog later, Love K

2394-I just made things worst at work..I made a really bad mistake and I feel like shit right now..I can't go into details about... I have the next two days off from work...I don't know what is in the future for me now that I fuck up royaly...I wish I could just run away and start new somewhere else...I know that sounded childish, but that's how I feel...Since I have the next two day off I will head to the Farmer's Market in Santa Monica, and try and clear my mind...I don't know what to do...It feels like everything is crashing in on me...I'm lost...

Mmmm...2394 lemon squares sound really good right now. I just got back from Wal Mart and it was HELL! So many people, shopping carts, and slow cashiers! Actually I've only seen Rockstar Supernova once, it was good but it's on at the same time House is on, I'm a tv junkie too, Law & Order, Monk, The Dead Zone, and House are some of my favorites. I wonder what the guys are doing on their vaca? Well it's safe to assume Mike is eating and playing with his trains, but I wonder what John and Rob do with their free time? Good night to you, I'm going to put on Batman Begins and fall asleep to Christian Bale, God he's hot! I will talk to you all tomorrow.

2394 -i think when I am finished paying off my bills and save some money I will relocate to Alaska...Maybe my future is waiting for me there...

2394- I' coming over for some lemon squares. Have a good night...BlueDust

Oh BlueDust I'm sorry! Just stay positive and remember whatever you did could have always been worse. Like for instance you could have accidentally let loose some carivourous birds that attack children, that could have bad results. But take these 2 days off and collect yourself, and figure out what you can do, if there is anything you can do later. Just get some sleep and don't think about whatever happened today, make sense of it in the morning. But you should be completely honest with yourself about the problem, don't sugar coat it and then move to accept that you made a mistake, and deal with it as gracefully as you can. Everybody screws up, it's human nature, and it won't be the end of the world, unless you put the Apocalypse into motion but I highly doubt you did that. :) Just relax tonight and deal with it tomorrow. Love you and stay calm, freaking out is the worst thing to do.

It's bad..Apocalpse could still happen...It sounds it may not, but you never know..I always expect the worst..God, I hope it doesn't happen...I'm so frighten of the out come..I'm not the only one that could be affected if this Apocalse were to occur...I feel like the boogie man is chasing after me and there is no one who can save me from him...I pray that this storm will pass and everthing will be alright...

BlueDust, stop stressing you're going to make yourself sick! And if the boogie man is chasing you then you might as well turn and fight him, you shouldn't waste your energy running, he'll eventually catch up to you. I'd fight off that damn boogie man for you, no one messes with my friends, I've got some of that mean Spaniard blood in me and I'd have that boogie man rethinkin' his line of work real quick. This storm will pass like all others, it has to that's the law of nature, and no matter how badly you screwed up it can't defy the laws of nature so take comfort in that if nothing else. Everything will be alright you just have to believe it. And if worst comes to worst then try to prepare youself for it as best as you can. We're here for you babe and don't you forget it. Please try to get some GOOD sleep!

BlueDust I'm totally with Missy on what she said in comments #57 and #59. You will get through what is going on. No matter what you did that made things worse, it WILL get better. People always prepare themselves for the bad things to come in a situation, that's what we do as human beings. Sometimes it's a good thing, but sometimes it's not so good. If it's something that you really, honestly, truly should be worrying about then that's understandable, but take a look at the situation, try to make yourself an outsider looking in on it. Does it really deserve the stress that you're giving it? You don't deserve to stress and worry about this. I totally understand that it's human nature to stress and worry whenever a situation comes about, but do your very best not to. I hope that on your next two days off of work you get well rested and keep your mind off your troubles. Good luck! We are ALWAYS here for you in here so please, dear, if you need to vent, then vent :). Sleep well. Love you!